Saturday, 28 May 2011

Guest Blog from Brian.

I would like to introduce myself; My name is Brian Vervet and Sam has kindly given me the opportunity to write a guest blog. I am a Vervet monkey from Dartmoor Zoo Park in Sparkwell near Plymouth.
I am currently living at the art of dance studio in Mutley, Plymouth where I am learning to pole dance.

I am a particular fan of strawberries (well any fruit really), eggs, small rodents (only on the weekends), and Sam has introduced me to Real Ale which I like but tends to affect my stomach the following day (runny poo!).

I love gardening and I have a special technique for sowing my seeds; I ingest seeds whole and then poo them at my preferred destination, its very handy. Sam has grown some strawberries for me and her Kakariki and they really are very tasty.

This week I have participated in several pole dancing classes meeting many of the lovely students at the art of dance. I did my first Crucifix, Seated Fall Back and Inverted Crucifix all of which were extremely painful. I also had my first private lesson with Emma Tulloch who is much better than me on the pole, I hope to be as good as her very soon. As I have very small paws and I find the 50mm x-pole quite hard to grip so I tend to wrap my long arms around the pole instead to maintain grip.

I love Doctor Who, Sam and Sid introduced me to it on-line and now I can't wait to watch it live on TV tonight. Sam has also told me about a programme called Britain's Got Talent but Sid tells me its rubbish so I may not watch it. I have so much to lean being such a young monkey but as I am more intelligent than stupid humans I should learn very quickly.

I am staying at Sid and Sam's over the weekend before returning to the art of dance studio on Tuesday, can't wait for more pole dancing lessons! Sam is very nice but a little opinionated, Sid is also nice but quite grumpy, they make a great couple and I like them both despite their flaws. They do have some very strange behaviours but I am not sure if those behaviours are theirs alone or whether they apply to all humans? I should also mention that Sam's farts are unbearable and worse than any animal at my home (Dartmoor Zoo Park).

At the moment Sid is introducing me to some of his favourite tunes, my god he listens to some rubbish, but he has got me interested in Talking Heads, a very interesting band with some thought provoking lyrics.

This morning Sid tried to poison me with a strange smelling liquid called Coffee, I nearly puked, it is disgusting. Sid also called me a pervert today for talking about my rather splendid red and blue genitals, I think he is just jealous but Sam said that humans generally do not flaunt their genitals as I do, very strange.

If you want to keep any eye on my antics you can find me on facebook or join my group that I share with my less attractive brother Gordon (pictured right). You can also visit my family at Dartmoor Zoo Park.

Well that's it from me, no doubt Sam will be ranting and winging about something very soon!

Love Brian x x

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