Today I have cried quite a lot, I think Ashley's death has finally hit home. However Ashley would have wanted me to be strong so I have been working hard today and have planned a hard training session with Jo at 5pm. It is easy to wallow in self pity but it doesn't actually help anyone therefore I need to keep motivated. As I have mentioned in previous blogs health and fitness is as much about mental state of mind as physical state of mind and I can see how easy it is to say 'I can't be bothered to exercise'
I have had an interesting few days with exercise being pushed a little to the back of my priorities although I did do 4 hours teaching yesterday but the weekend was spent working for BMW (data capture) accompanied by several meals out with family and a visit to Bodmin Jail (very spooky). Not the most strenuous weekend (Several pints of Sharps Doom bar seemed to accompany each meal) but very enjoyable. I do find it difficult to eat well when visiting certain eating establishments as the menus can be so limited. However I have made up for it today with a visit to the Plymouth Arts Centre, I ma now armed with a box full of edible goodies: Carrot and Cashew nut loaf, Green Salad, a ploughman's salad and some garlic and mushroom tagliatelle which should keep me going for a day or so. Not only is the food lovely but it is cheap - double bonus!
After eating well and getting some fresh air my head feels a little clearer, I am sure I will feel tearful again later but that is a normal part of the grieving process. I know that in time I will feel better but I will never forget Ashley. Lastly I would like to say that my thoughts go out to all of Ashley's family and friends and also to other victims of bereavement, if any of you need help or support dealing with a loss then click here for advice
Stay Healthy and Happy,
Sam x
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